You can see them everywhere, from morning walk to evening walk, from
balconies to gardens, from train compartments to cars, from drawing room
conversations to road side chats... they are the second most visible zoological
beings in big cities after, well,.. we humans.
What if they are also there, I was not concerned, but what made me
take notice of them ( or jealous of them ) was the fact that a dog’s ‘pic’ on
facebook attracts more likes and comments from their female fans rather than ‘pics’
of normal male brethren. The man’s best friend
has authoritatively become girls best ‘friend?’.
Ahh.. choww sweeett.. followed by three heart symbols, which I don’t
know how to make, irritate me to the end of my neurological system. You look at
any album of the fairer sex to satisfy your pre-medieval male desire to peek
into anything related to ‘them’ and you end up looking into their dogs in
different poses. Isn’t it frustrating?
I tried to dig deep into this dog business and it prompted many
questions. Why people in bigger cities keep dogs more? Why women, children and
elderly love dogs more? Big cities are the classic cases of people feeling ‘alone
in the crowd’. They feel the need of having someone ‘faithful’ by their side.
Women, children and elderly need the love and care of others and in the absence
of human love and care due to busy city life, they resort to canine love.
So, if you want to see less of dog ‘pics’, you should start loving
girls around you more. ;)
Moreover, dogs have become status symbol like “well.. I don’t know
hindi aachee se, I can understand it thik se but reading and writing.. I’m not
sure, ajeeb feel hota hai..” Not knowing hindi is the status symbol of the most
big city dwellers. Carrying a hand bag as large as half the body size is the
status symbol of the most big city girls and wearing a low waist three-fourth
showing the favourite ‘chaddi’ brand is the status symbol of the most big city
boys.
Anyways, coming back to dogs, I agree they elevate the status and
they increase the love and care quotient. But still I hate them from the very deep
bottom of my heart and I have my reasons.
i)
No species can withstand the
pain of the sight of their female counterparts loving other species. The idea
of being in competition with dogs is not very self respecting.
ii)
There is a sum total of quotas
of all the affection and care in the world. If dogs receive them all then what
will be left for we poor humans?
iii)
Balance of any ecosystem is
disturbed when one species start to dominate it. We should diversify – cats,
rats, parrots, lizards, rabbits, anything but dogs!!
iv)
They lick. Since their owners
allow them to show their affection by licking, they feel pleased to lick anyone
who comes near to them. Men should not be licked by dogs.
v)
They pee and poo at wrong
places. Men are not supposed to clean the pee and poo of anyone except their
own babies and holy cows.
vi)
They invade your ‘that’ space.
There is a certain distance you maintain from other people and you allow only
very few people to come closer to that distance. Dogs should not be one entering
your ‘that’ space.
vii)
They are dogs.
There are two possible endings to the dog story –
One, girls suddenly or slowly realise that guys are better looking,
smarter, funnier, more caring and lovable than dogs.
Two, to hell with all bitches!!
