25th December is the time to say merry Christmas. But as Christianity
has rightly enlightened us about the ‘original sin’, we the country with the
most diversified ‘religious portfolio’ start a new yearly wedding season. The
jingle bells sound like wedding bells for many wannables. And about the ‘sin’,
Adam and Eve couldn’t resist the apple; we are hardly anyone to resist ‘shaadi
ke laddu’.
It’s said about such laddus that “jo khaye wo pachtaye aur jo na khaye
wo bhi pachtaye”. Meaning we are insects attracted to a tube light. For those
who are less biologically inclined, insects are attracted to tube lights
because they think they have got ‘available opposite sex’ there. Apparently
there is some ‘wavelength locha’. Insects ready to mate and tube lights emit
similar signals. Only that they end up in lizard’s stomach after a brief period
of excitement.
This really sums up marriage. We are insects, tube light is the
institution of marriage and lizard is our society. Needless to say, brief period
of excitement is the honeymoon period.
From where we arrived at the modern concept of marriage? Had our
lords told so? No. Krishna was more interested in his Gopis. Lord Rama’s father
had three wives. The five pandavas were married to one woman and they freely ‘dated’
other women. Hail Hindu! Had our national heroes told so? No. Gandhi’s marriage
was based on the oath of celibacy. Nehru, well, we all know. Raja Ram Mohan
Roy, the biggest reformer of modern India was married thrice. And still, we the
faithful followers stick to one man one woman policy of perfect marriage.
Why marriage in the first place? Academicians suggest - because we cannot
control. All other species have a well defined mating periods and they
procreate obeying nature’s cycle. We humans on the other hand are ever ready.
So we need a strong institution like marriage to stop anarchy in the society.
Even with so many bondages, look at our population, we indeed are God’s best creation.
For many of us who don’t like being compared with insects and being
called ‘control freak maniacs’, let’s get into real ‘marriage business’. How do
we choose mates?
For women, they have three different categories to choose from.
Type I is the NRI type. Those who were hot in the late 90’s in the
marriage market. They promised of a future in a far away land, the ideal prince
charming in the wonderland with lot of money. They meant an opportunity to
break free from “saree-saas-sasural” triangle. But with the world economy
taking a plunge, these potential grooms now lie grounded. They are out of
flavour for ‘informed’ girls. The families are more sceptical in ‘giving their
daughters’ to NRI husbands. Their fortune in marriage market is as sensitive as
sensex.
Type II is the metro man. He is the company guy. He will spend all
his life at one or two place. He will go office, remain there, remain a little
longer, come back and sleep. He will speak the perfect words, thanks to high
overdose of management slides. He is fair and handsome, not because of genes,
but because he is confined to AC cubicles whole day and night and he is aware
of the use of ‘guy-cosmetics’. In the present day marriage market, they are
selling like hot cakes. Stability, money and presentable, they have it all. Girls
are doing all in their disposals to catch such a ‘catch’. Parents are eager to consent.
Perfect arm candies for modern day women.
Type III is the sarkari babu. Posted some place infected with abject
poverty, they are opposite of fair and handsome, whatever that may be. Again
not because of genes but because of Mother Nature and job nature. They still
believe that writing is the ‘most in thing’ to do. Parents love such ‘damads’.
Girls hate such ‘dumbos’. Such babus are ending up with perfect desi bahus. A
complete family man for ‘praying women’.
For men, it’s the matter of being picked up. NRI types get picked up
in colleges. Metro men get picked up in companies. Sarkari babus get picked up
not by girls but by Godfathers – men with white kurtas and gold garlands for
their ‘little girls’.
Going personal, its twilight for me. Lights are getting dim. I can
sense tube light’s light. It’s my time to be the insect. And have a last laugh
about it. Anyways I can’t control it. Quiet.
PS- This article is the best example of how to ruin your marriage-pickability.
So, to keep my chances alive, here’s the disclaimer. This is a piece of
write-art, describing a point of view. The views expressed are not really what
I feel about marriage and its process. I will love getting married.
